Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
