I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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