...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
