All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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