If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
