YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
