Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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