so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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