Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize