Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
