I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
