And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
