My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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