Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
