Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
