you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
