Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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