i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
