Whod you bang
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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