She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
