Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
