you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
