If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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