The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Still dying that you shit outside
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
