she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
