He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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