If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
