My first STD was from a foam party
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
