I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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