So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
