Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
