haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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