jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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