So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
