She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
