I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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