If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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