Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am one with the molecules
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
