So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
