he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
