just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
