I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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