Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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