The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
