Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction