i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone