all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
