We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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