Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
