I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize