What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
