i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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