The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
