How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I believe in your delicious
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
