I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
