Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
