This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
