oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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