How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
