We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize