just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She even gives head with a lisp.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
