how can u be prego again
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
