Non-Jews are for practice
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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