i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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