i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
