She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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