she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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