Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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