im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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