I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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